I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
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