youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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