Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
