Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
