omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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