Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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