My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
