i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
