Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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