I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
