just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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