I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
