I CAN MOONWALK!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
