So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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