porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My boob is missing a layer of skin
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
