...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
