That's intense
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
