If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
