You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
