Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
