That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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