It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
