you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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