Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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