honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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