at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
