Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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