He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
