i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
