Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
