So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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