I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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