That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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