420 ftw
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
