the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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