This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
