The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
