I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
