the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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