my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
