if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
