He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
