ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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