nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
