HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Randomize
