nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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