i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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