the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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