i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
