i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
